I’m defiantly not an expert on anal.  I’m still pretty terrified of it actually.  That’s what makes it so much fun for me I guess.  It’s still a challenge for me to get over that mental hurdle.  As a result, I am truly submitting to my Sir when we have anal sex.  It’s ALWAYS totally hot.  There are also other benefits.  There are the mind blowing orgasms and then there is what I like to call “the shiny factor.”

I’m going to start out by saying that this is totally not true.  That what I am about to say is a JOKE.  A FUNNY.  A bit of spoiled little girl HUMOR….I have to put this up front sometimes, because there are those of you, you know you are out there (not sarcastic), who do not recognize humor or sarcasm.  So here we go….

Butt sex gets you bling.  Shiny.  Bribes.  Let me explain.  The topic of butt sex comes up while I am chatting with my sister (we’ll call her Jen).  And yes, I really do talk about butt sex with my sister (whose name really is Jen).  Her boyfriend wants it; she’s not inclined to try it.  I tell her, a) it fucking rocks and b) it gets you shiny.  She’s not inclined to believe me.  This is when I pull out my brand new, SHINEY black berry (this was when the black berry was the phone of choice; before the iphone).    I’m still  not sure she is inclined to believe me, but she’s pondering the possibilities.  I can see it her shoppoloic little eyes. 

But it is scientifically proven that during ejaculation men’s minds fill with a chemical cocktail of brain chemicals, including norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and a jumble of other big words that translate into shiny.  What does it really mean?  It means that a) men are naturally inclined to fall asleep after sex – they aren’t doing it because you do not turn into a pizza or ESPN and b) that they are chemically more open to intimacy, trust and bonding.  They become more amenable….to giving up the shiny!  Yes ladies, the best time to ask for the shiny is that short time between ejaculation and sleep.  So, back to my original point …. Anal Sex Rocks.

This is how I find myself sitting in a class by Tristan Taoramino (www.puckerup.com).  I’ve already seen her on television, a hands on, how to of anal sex in fact, long before I was kinky or even thinking about having sex.  And I’ve already read her book, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, and passed it on to my sister.  And, I’ve already been having kick ass (not sarcastic) anal sex for about three years.  But, I’m always up for more education – especially when it comes to my sexual pleasure. 

It was a great class and it flew by quickly.  In fact, I didn’t realize that my butt was asleep from the metal folding chairs until we stood up to leave.  Tristan is an amazing public speaker.  Very dynamic and funny.  The lecture – and it was a lecture – was entirely engaging.  So much so, that I didn’t realize that it was lecture until the end and reflecting on my own public speaking experience realized that she did not ask questions.  It was not an interactive class.  We didn’t get to share. 

I picked up one or two new ideas from the class, but I would not say it was significantly enlightening.  This is only because I already saw her show and read the book.  It’s the same information, which it should be.  What the lecture did provide was a comfortable setting and a cute girl to tell me that anal sex was ok.  Of course I already knew this, I had the black berry to prove it (sarcasm).  All joking aside, for me and I suspect for others in the room, it was comforting to see that there were others out there who wanted to have butt sex.  It was comforting to see that this normal looking, attractive woman could smile and joke and not miss a beat while telling us how to give ourselves an enema. 

I was not disappointed.  My only “complaint” about Tristan’s lecture was that I felt that she did look at me or anyone else in the room for that matter.  She was looking at the back of the room, at her partner perhaps.  It’s a tried and true public speaking trick.  And it’s especially useful when you are presenting to a large audience, which this was not.  I spent the first 10 minutes trying to figure out if she was cross eyed.  It was slightly distracting.  Perhaps it was just me? 

Tristan is a dynamic and funny girl.  She makes butt sex not taboo, but fun and sexy.  Well worth the $140 ($30 each for my Sir and I, $40 for the butt toy we bought after the class and $40 for dinner that the pasta bar down the street).  It was a lovely evening.  I’d check her out if you get the chance!!